I went for a walk along the beach a few days ago (in my old stomping ground, Cronulla), and randomly saw a sign that brought me to tears. That is what grief looks like, it can be really random.

I saw some sort of surf 1978 sign and just the year (and memories of going to the beach with my family as a child), were enough to trigger memories of when I was 7 years old and most of my grandparents were still alive, my mum was alive, my aunties, uncles, my cousin were all still here. We often spent time together and travelled around as an extended family. I was part of something, I belonged and I felt protected and loved (not always but certainly on those occasions).

Walking along on this very windy morning in Cronulla; I had this wave of devastation and grief wash over me. Of course, when we grieve, in time, we ultimately just need to get on with life and learn to live without those loved ones. Generally life and keeping busy means that we don’t focus on our losses constantly (which is probably healthy), but every so often when it is quiet, those feelings creep in (which is also probably healthy).

I just cried on my walk and allowed the emotions to wash over me. I think once you get to a certain age, grief is a combination of so many experiences and losses, it is not always about one thing. This week, my ancestors walk with me. It is a strange experience of feeling alone and also not at the same time!

I’m not special, we all grieve. I just thought I would share so maybe other people would feel less alone or at least know that this experience is normal. Sending love to those who know grief intimately and hope for healing for us all.

This is a photo I took on the way back from my walk, looking back at Cronulla from Elouera with a storm over Cronulla.