The Victorian government’s new advertising campaign in Australia ‘The Unsaid Says A Lot’ is at the very least offensive to women; however I would argue it is downright dangerous.

Two particular scenarios that have my blood boiling:

1. Man (identifying as a woman) gets into a lift (and the woman who was already in the lift decides to get out).
2. Man (identifying as a woman) joins women’s football team and everyone is smiling because they are oh so inclusive and kind.

We are being told that we need to be kind and polite even if that means ignoring our own intuition and safety. Women’s kindness has been used against us throughout the ages. In more recent times; for our own safety; we have been taught that misplaced compassion and kindness; can often be what places us in grave danger.

Historically killers and rapists such as Ted Bundy have actually used this strategy, pretending to be injured and needing help. Many women have talked of feeling “the situation was wrong” but not wanting to be “thought of or seen as rude or impolite” before they made that fateful decision, to go against their intuition and paid a huge price. And these are just the women who lived to tell the tale.

Nobody is advocating deliberately being cruel or unkind to anyone. However we still need to look out for our own safety, and that of our children. This requires sometimes saying no, removing ourselves from a situation or other choices that may come across as rude. It is not about the identity of the other person involved, it is purely about our safety.

I personally would rather be seen as rude and still be alive and well, rather than be polite and dead.

In his book The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence; Gavin de Becker wrote: “Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait”. In other words, you are not a bad person for protecting yourself. I would questions the motives of anyone who wants you to believe otherwise.

He also said “only human beings can look directly at something, have all the information they need to make an accurate prediction, perhaps even momentarily make the accurate prediction, and then say that it isn’t so.”

Women are constantly trying to talk ourselves out of listening to our intuition and unfortunately other’s such as the Victorian Government are doing it too. This level of gas lighting; in a time where we are finally having important conversations about violence against women is frankly, breathtaking!

Women’s sports is a whole other topic, however anyone with a functioning brain can see the danger imposed by women playing football with biological men.

On the campaign page it says “everyone deserves to be safe, supported, and equal”. Safe, really? Except for women, we don’t count. A biological man’s emotional safety is apparently much more important than our actual safety. As for equal, we are not all equal, I am 5 foot tall and will never be a great basketball player or be able to reach things in the supermarket. Some things are just a fact, whether you like it or not, we are not and never will be equal in all things.

In closing; I will leave you with another quote from Gavin de Becker “It is understandable that the perspectives of men and women on safety are so different — men and women live in different worlds; at core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.”

Jacinta Allan’s Victorian Government – shame on you!